Skiing and snowboarding are fun, no arguments there. As you watch more and more ski/snowboard videos most people think actually “ooh that’s impressive. It’s cool that s/he can do that”. Little did you know that skiers and snowboarders from different skill levels can actually derp around and do stupid shit as well. Today it’ll be a funny piece and I’ll show you the fun/funny side of snowboarding and the funny mistakes that we make 😀
Giving Hand Instructions While Wearing Mitts(mittens)
So there are gloves (where your fingers are individually wrapped and you can move them separately) and then there are mittens (where it’s like an oven mitts; all four fingers grouped and the thumb separated). For the longest time I was wearing gloves. At some point I switched to mitts. Sure mitts are warmer but for me I really just wanted to try something new.
That said, for the longest time, I can signal people with my fingers:
“Dan, how many beers would you like?”
* signals with my fingers * : three
So imagine doing that with mittens 😅 (they can’t really see your fingers lol). Sure you can flip ppl off without them knowing but it’s funny when you don’t realize this. One time I was lining up to go to the lift. As I got to the front, the lady asks me “how many are you?” (asking how many in my party, so they can group people to go up the lift). I signalled two and didn’t verbalize it since I was a bit far from her.
Her face was just like 😒 loool. To her it just looked like:
“how many are you?”
“signals here to randomly stop”
Wearing your helmet the wrong way
He he he he, sometimes when you’re not paying attention, or drunk…or both, this happens
Getting Too Relaxed and Then Catching an Edge
This has “snowboarder” written all over it. I’ve done this so many times 😂 During when I was a beginner, even during my intermediate times, either not paying attention, getting too cocky, or just not admitting that you don’t have energy in your body to continue any more.
FYI: “catching an edge” happens because the sides of your snowboard (that is, the longest sides in front of your toes and behind your heels) are grippy. Those are actually the mechanisms that allow you to turn. Now if you turn your snowboarder perpendicular to the direction of the slope, you slow down/stop. That is if you have the leading edge lifted and it goes above the snow. If you go reckless and that leading edge lowers and “catches” the terrain/snow, that’s when your snowboard catapults you forward. It’s especially enlightening and glorious when you slam your body on a thick, rock-hard slabs of ice.
Snow: “Surpise Motherfucker”
Forgetting to Get Out of the Chairlift
In ski/snowboarding there are lots of “get out of the way no matter how injured or banged up you are“. This occurs especially in the terrain parks. Get out of the landing asap no matter what happens. This one is actually not that funny but it’s the closest illustration to what I wanted to say.
So in this vid, yellow jacket did not get out of the way fast enough and since the lift system just continues, it screws over the next set of people behind you. If you’re experienced enough you can slide out a different direction as you get out of your seat. But it’s tough for beginner snowboarders because getting off the lift, you’re only one foot strapped, and you’re transitioning from sitting position (no motion, facing forward), to snowboard stance (sideways, with downward motion) so most beginners are at the mercy of the direction of the ramp (where yellow jacket is blocking the way).
So as you can see, last person white jacket just didn’t even bother. She knew that she would not have much choice and she will for sure collide with yellow jacket so she was like “fuck this shi~” loool. Ps, riding the lift down in a no-no, that’s why you saw the lift operator stop the system.
So the funny thing for me is, I often catch myself panicking last minute as I ride and as I get off the lift. That’s because sometimes when the lift is so slow or there are lots of stops, I find myself having deep thoughts, thinking about stuff, zoning out. Sometimes I even zone out because I’m so comfortable and the ride’s so cool/cold that it’s conducive for sleeping for me lol. And then as I get to the end I always realize the last minute “omfg, I gotta get out in the next .2s” 😂
I see this a lot with some beginners who underestimate snowboarding. I know some people with background in skating / skiing and I’d say they’re kinda(?) exempt from this? But anyways, this is why I advise you to just stick to the bunny hill first before hoping on a lift.
When you’re a beginner and you don’t have the fundamentals covered (toe edge, heel edge, slowing, stopping), well the only way for you to stop is either by kissing trees or snow. There’s also this thing that happens that while you’re a beginner, if you accidentally point your board down and gather speed, there’s this weird phenomenon where your body/center of gravity wants to just stay that way (board pointing down and gathering more speed). Think like doing “no hands” when you get enough speed in a normal bike. So imagine how this can easily snowball (ha) right? and then yea…
Snow: “surprise motherfucker”
When Apres Ski Takes Over
What is apres ski? I have an entire article for that.
So on bigger mountains they have the bars up top the mountain! It’s fun and cool but of course you need to know how to ski/snowboard in order to participate.
You’re probably thinking: “so if you drink up there…~” Yes. Yes is the answer. This is de wae.
It’s funny though when sometimes some people can’t handle the apres ski and in the words of that David Guetta song: “When
love apres ski takes over yea, you know you your body can’t deny”.