Burton Total Impact Shorts Review

You’re probably thinking “ah, this is for beginners”. Nope, not at all. This thing saved my butt (ha) several times already. Ladies and gents (yes, there is a women’s version too, and kids), I present to you, the thing that’ll save your precious tailbone: Burton Men’s Total Impact Short, Highland Camo, Large aka crash pants aka crash pads aka butt pads.

Women’s Burton Women’s Total Impact Short, True Black, Large .
Kid’s Burton Boy’s Total Impact Short, Highland Camo, X-Large

Why do I need this?

For Beginners

Well let’s start with the obvious: if you’re a beginner and you’re on the cautious side, you probably want this for obvious reasons. Let me be clear though that I am not saying that all beginners need this. To a point it becomes bothersome (as a total beginner) because there’s one other thing that feels new to you. It’s like skiers learning for the first time. If you’ve seen them, you’d notice that they learn skiing 101 without poles, because that’s another thing for them to worry about. If you are fragile (I don’t mean that in a condescending way) or more importantly you don’t know how to fall (yes that’s a thing), you really want Burton Men’s Total Impact Short, Highland Camo, Large.

Pro-tip: There is such a thing as how to fall. Google it. Google "How to fall in [snowboard, basketball, football, any-other-sport-physical-activity". 
This will save you a lot of body aches and injuries in your lifetime. 

For Intermediate/Advanced

For you awesome possums out there, you might still want to wear this. I’ll take about my case for instance:

I was starting terrain parks and I went to do a small jump. This was my very first attempt. I took a jump, I wasn’t flat and straight from the take-off but rather I was on my hell edge and coming to an angle, so when I took off, at the highest point I looked like this: “/”, literally that was my angle mid-air. So of course you can’t correct yourself mid-air so I landed on my bull’s eye spot of my tailbone. It was…. a;jahdjqwnddo1ipdh12podn12oenldm1dl;kdm2dkl21m.

That’s my gravest example though. On an everyday setting, you can have an awesome day then suddenly encounter an ice patch (or just have an icy day). You might slip and sit, and if you get lucky, you might hit that tail bone at like the best possible angle and you will the wrath of a thousand suns.

After that, it necessitated it for me. If I can have a high quality, light, low profile, super effective protective gear for this, that would be great. And ta-da I found Burton Men’s Total Impact Short, Highland Camo, Large.

I still wear it to this day btw. Every time I go. Why? Well, I’ve spent ~5 years snowboarding but I’d still consider myself as a learner. Sure I got the basics and I’m a solid snowboarder now, but there are lots of new things I’d want to try and experiment on. I’m the sort of guy who would huck and chuck a reasonably sized jump or side hit. I’d try new terrain difficulties etc. So it’s really useful for me to have this. Stay safe and don’t be stupid though guys. Don’t be chucking yourself in XXL jumps when you’re struggling with an S jump or when you’re doing off-piste without friends.

That can be going way faster than I normally do, hitting side hits, doing tricks off a jump, riding switch (so basically going the other direction of your board). Every time I try something new, there’s a chance I might fall (on my ass) so why not just keep on using it?

It’s low-effort, you barely notice it’s there, it’s light, it’s not distracting and it strongly protects the essential parts of your butt, so why not just use Burton Men’s Total Impact Short, Highland Camo, Large right?

Look and Feel, Comfort, etc

Yup, you can’t see any difference and you won’t be able to tell if I’m wearing one or not. You’re not wearing leggings. You’re wearing snow pants. It’s not distracting at all, both for you and for anyone else.

As for the feel, I’d say it’s functionally comfortable. It’s really not a distraction. After I wear it and walk around, I don’t notice it at all. It doesn’t restrict ANY kind of motion at all. It’s firm and snug around your body. It’s not loose but it’s not tight and constricting as well.

The material is..~well I can’t exactly what it is but it’s like a mix of rubber and some hard medium plastic. You can pinch and press it with your fingers or nail but you’re going to have to put some effort (you want that, this is the thing protecting you after all).

Weirdly enough though and to speak about the comfort, I’ve driven home many times from resort to my apartment (2 hours one way) and sometimes I’ve either intentionally/accidentally left it on. I’d only realize it mid way or when I get home. Not only did I forget it, but as I’m driving it doesn’t put you at all in a discomfort or make you sit on a weird position. For me, it literally does not feel any different if I leave it on.

I’ve gone apres ski with this too so it’s not bothersome if you sit on it and/or if you wear it on extended periods of time.

Cons or Disadvantages?

Hmm, it’s another layer to pull down when you’re peeing?

You have to spend first before the protection kicks in.

Alternative

There’s also the G-Form Pro-X Padded Compression Shorts, Black Logo, Adult Large although I’m not sure if I’m offering you something that’s similar or different. G-Form (the company) has patented and owns the tech (Impact Protection Technology). Burton is using that exact same tech and created their own shorts and slapped the Burton brand on it (like how they use Gore-Tex). So technically this G-Form shorts is exactly the same but different brand (created directly by G-Form.

The cool thing about G-Form's Impact Protection Technology (the special material they have for the padding) is that it's lightweight and low profile. What's more awesome is that the material stiffens upon impact that's why it can afford to be slimmer and thinner while offering you the same or even stronger protection.

There are other options too but one thing I’d advise against is don’t buy cheap Chinese ones from Amazon (maybe < $50). I’ve bought one and it just looks like…~you know those inflated pads in your amazon delivery boxes to keep your package from jiggling around? Yea, it’s like that but in the shape of an ice pops and sandwiched by a thin synthetic material. It does not look comfy.

There are other variations/products where they are not using G-Form’s proprietary material. They’re either using rubber or foam or some usually-soft material. The sucky part is that they’d need to put more of that material in the shorts to actually protect you so you end up with a clunky, bulky shorts that might protrude or make things tight in your snow pants.

But hey, if this is not your focus or you just want to have some protection even if it’s cheap, I say go for it too.

Wrap Up

I really like my Burton Total Impact Short Protective Shorts Large True Black . There’s no compromise when using it so I just use it every time (even up until now). I do a lot of experimentations too with tricks, approaches, terrain, etc so it’s definitely give me both a sense and actual safety when I wear it. In snowboarding, you’re always learning. Also I love my tail bone and I do not miss that stunning and electrifying feeling at all.